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Fast Bowlers Make Excellent Snapchatters: A Case Study of Wahab Riaz

Fast Bowlers Make Excellent Snapchatters: A Case Study of Wahab Riaz

As a kid I used to stare at pictures of cricketing stars for hours on end, trying to imagine what their daily, mundane lives might look like.

What does the team have for breakfast? Do they hang out with each other outside of matches? Which songs do they play in the team bus? Who is besties with whom? (Which of us haven’t shipped Inzi with practically everyone)? The questions that were once the occupation of a feverish twelve year-old imagination have finally been answered a mere fifteen years later through the magic of Snapchat.

Social media is accused of dispelling the mystique of celebrities, with the argument being that unbridled access to the inner worlds of our favourite actors and bands can be nauseating. Snapchat, however, has sifted the wheat from the chaff, or the Wahab Riazs from the DJ Khaleeds so to say (I can’t sit through another 10 second video of how a bush of roses inspires him). Already at home with all things fast and transient, it comes as no surprise that Wahab Riaz is using the quick reflexes that make him a successful fast bowler on the field onto our feeds.

Behold, my totally logical case for why Wahab Riaz’s Snapchat is the best Snapchat account around (second only to Waqar Zaka, but an ode to his feminist advice to his female followers for another time and forum).

1. Sports are fluid

The boys pay homage to their national sport no matter where they are, even on the golf course.

Don’t ever say that cricket isn’t a priority for a national cricket team - they take it everywhere they go.

Best way to learn golf is in cricketing terms. “You hit that over extra cover near that pitch of, ummmm, water (!?)”

Going through these Snapchats made me question my lifelong prejudice against golf as a snoozefest--we just need a bunch of Desis to liven things up.

2. Azhar Ali is King

He pays for shit.

Just look at him, paying for things.

He tells it like it is.

Sorry Wahab!

3. Relevant fashion debates are covered

Yasir Shah schools Wahab on the details of “smart casual”. #ImWithHim

Wahab gets his fashion accessories from the undergr…I mean, underwater scene.

4. Never accuse our boys of not keeping fit

7 AM workouts. Priorities.

They stick to their diets. Our T20 captain will not give into the temptations of Nandos.

Just look at that determined, posing.

BTW totes appropriate workout music, boys.

5. The team is unfazed in the face of natural wonders

The Great Barrier Reef is widely considered to be breath-taking, but Wahab Riaz is sceptical of the hype.

“Lets see” (let’s sea?)

Though our Snapchat protagonist is easily impressed by golf courses.

You’ve seen Shane Watson whimper, don’t undersell yourself Wahab!

Amidst clear waters and an endangered barrier reef, Muhammad Amir prioritizes something even more rare: sleep.

6. They make puns

That is a “sea”-through.

That might be just us, though.

7. They plan ahead

I think you’ll be fine, Nawaz.

8. Every argument can be solved by a group selfie

Things got a bit heated when the great Sea vs. Ocean Debate of 2016 erupted.

Tensions were defused with an old fashioned group selfie. Ahmed Shehzad weeps proudly in a corner.

If only they had front cameras in the old days of team camps and toxic politics.

9. Videos of Sarfaraz singing in the streets are fine by me

10. We all want to be on his Snapchat

This was so much fun.

Just like Muhammad Nawaz, everyone wants to feature in Wahab’s snapchat.

You and me both!

Wahab, out!